The smell of chocolate brings back sweet memories for me.

My grandmother loved chocolate and ice cream. On our outings, we would go shopping for her favorite Haagen Daz ice cream. For her favorite combination of sweets, it didn’t matter when she needed my help to accompany her to the store and help her with checking out. At home, her infectious laughter along with her possession of the “pint” was amusing to all of us. She was always our joy and comfort during late night family get-togethers. It was times like this where it did not matter she was diagnosed with dementia and forgot what she had for dinner or mixed up our names. 

Spending time with my grandmother had trained me to understanding  her confusion and forgetfulness were caused by Alzheimer’s disease, and as the harsh reality of this disease raised its ugly head again and again, until ultimately she had completely forgotten her love for chocolate and ice cream, then I realized I needed to take another approach to relating to her. 

As sad as it was to watch her dementia progress before she passed away a few months ago, I was able to cherish her company. My mom taught me that no disease should forbid you from spending time with your loved ones, not even Alzheimer’s, another form of dementia. 

When a close friend or relative has Alzheimer’s disease, it affects the whole family. However, there are tips to making the most of the time you spend together.  If you go out for a walk, hold hands tightly, stay close to home and make sure you know the route back. At meals, give simple choices rather than a large menu; I would ask my grandmother if she would like the “chocolate” or the “vanilla” ice cream for dessert.  When she had behavioral issues from dementia and was paranoid, we were mindful to not talk too much in front of her without including her, and we did not leave the television on with the news as this could make her feel that these events were happening to her.

If you are a teenager like me, remember that you are not alone. Talk to your parents and reach out to your friends. Some of the behaviors or personality changes caused by Alzheimer’s can be embarrassing, but speaking to other people is important.  Make sure you talk about how you feel and know it is okay to be sad or frustrated. 

Remember that there are many special moments even when your loved one is diagnosed with dementia, and there will be memories that will last forever. The smell of chocolate and the sweet taste of ice cream makes my heart smile and quickly floods my memory of all the times my grandmother and I shared together.